Articles by Antoni Matteo Garcia

Forever Red Rangers and Inu Brothers Survey II

With my love for Forever Red remaining as eternal as ever, which Red Power Ranger would Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha cherish the most as best friends forever and brothers from other mothers? A. Jason Lee Scott (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) B. Aurico (Mighty Morphin Alien Rangers) C. Thomas “Tommy” Oliver (Power Rangers Zeo) D. Theodore Jay “TJ” Jarvis Johnson (Power Rangers Turbo) E. Andros (Power Rangers In Space) F. Leo Corbett (Power Rangers Lost Galaxy) G. Carter Grayson (Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue) H. Alex Drake (Power Rangers Time Force) I. Wesley “Wes” Collins (Power Rangers Time Force) J. Eric Myers (Power Rangers Time Force) K. Cole Evans (Power Rangers Wild Force)

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The Splendid Seven’s Seven Martial Arts Survey

Which seven martial arts suit Sesshoumaru, Shuran, Inuyasha, Hakkaku, Ginta, Ayame, and Shunran well? A. Karate, Wrestling, Pankration, Muay Boran, Lethwei, Bokator, Kung Fu B. Kenpo, Sambo, Vale Tudo, Muay Lerdrit, Pencak Silat, Koppojutsu, Baguazhang C. Jujutsu, Malla-yuddha, Mixed Martial Arts, Muay Chaiya, Sanda, Hapkido, Wing Chun D. Judo, Pehlwani, Shootfighting, Muay Thai, Jeet Kune Do, Yongmudo, Savate E. Kajukenbo, Sumo Wrestling, Kapu Kuialua, Pradal Serey, Bando, Boxing, Kickboxing

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Despicable Hypocrite

This screenshot demotivational posterĀ is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Miroku. Sit back, relax, and indulge yourselves with my impassioned evisceration of this appalling excuse of a hypocrite, liar, scumbag, and loser. I am certain you have had characters you tried to like when you were younger and more impressionable viewers and anime consumers but ended up loathing as grown-ups with more nuanced ways of thinking and observing the world around you. For me, Miroku fits the bill for a character I tried way too hard to like but ended up despising him after realising how much of a hypocritical scumbag he is. I am aware that his whole shtick is that he is a womaniser who gropes various women and gets slapped for it all because he wants any of them to bear his children as well as his escapades with Sango. Re-examining him made me see nothing charming or enjoyable about this sick scumbag of a person. Even scummier is how he treats Inuyasha thinking he deserves those sit commands by Kagome and hitting him on the head with his staff for not being tactful when he himself is pathetic and even far worse than Inuyasha is. Furthermore, as Inuyasha is allowed to be brutalised by Kagome, he just receives slaps in the face. To me, this hypocrite deserves worse punishments for his deeds. Miroku is far from being a charming playboy because everything about him screams unattractive scumbag who could never get it into his own head that he severely lacks self-reflection and is a liar. Even when he was traveling with Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippou, he had the nerve to ask her to bear his children, but he just ended up as nothing more than one of her pathetic humanoid yes-men. At least something came out of his “relationship” with Kagome as one of her army of skanks. The fact that he repeatedly gropes women without their consent and even had the gall to ask the then 11-year-old Koharu to bear his children one day, which was a promise she managed to keep at 14 for that hog, makes him a truly disgusting cretin and poor excuse of a man who has neither my sympathy nor my compassion. Yes, his reason for asking women to be impregnated by him was tied to his family curse of bearing the Wind Tunnel by Naraku, and he wanted to desperately look for a woman to bear children to carry on with his “legacy”. However, his whole manner of womanising never earned me my charm or empathy. As if Miroku’s womanising and pervert ways have been getting older as the series rolled on, the other attribute that irritates me most about him is his hypocrisy. He has the gall to lecture Inuyasha to be more tender towards Kagome when Miroku himself has not been tender to all the women he has been groping and demanding to have their kids let alone attempting to have his way with Sango. He is just as sanctimonious as Kagome is to the point where I do not even care who is worse in that department. Nevertheless, I still argue that Miroku’s fake offering of friendship let alone brotherhood to Inuyasha makes me see him as an opportunistic moocher who uses Inuyasha to compensate for the fact that his Wind Tunnel, staff, and sutras are the only “weapons” he has at his disposal and is not a particularly strong fighter. To say that Miroku is dishonest is a mere understatement. Miroku is nothing more than a scummy deceiver who dares think he is above Inuyasha just because he has more experience in “wooing his floozies” when he objectifies women as his baby making machines and nothing more. There is nothing to like, admire, adore, and/or love about Miroku because he is a lying opportunistic scumbag who thinks he can sweet-talk his way to various women by invading their personal spots just to bear their children. His despicableness in everything he does as a poor excuse of a Buddhist monk as well as a friend to Inuyasha makes me sick to my foundation, and it is no surprise that I find nothing to root about him. Every lie he has told may as well come back to haunt him for the rest of his life, and every deceitful action he has taken will not be looked back with neither kindness nor compassion. All Miroku has ended up acquiring is my frenzied rage. Rage at how he believes he can stand on his little soapbox preaching to Inuyasha about tenderness towards other women, when Miroku was never tender towards the opposite sex at all. He even has the gall to put Kagome on a pedestal when he never even bothers to defend Inuyasha’s actions and is so quick to jump to Kagome’s side like the snake-like sleaze-ball that he is. Therefore, Miroku shall end up with a vicious castration and hanging. I hope you all enjoyed this, and I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and never be hypocritical like Miroku is, everybody. The Hypocritical, Deceitful, and Credit-Hogging Shyster from Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.

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Unworthy of Inuyasha’s Trust

This screenshot demotivational posterĀ is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Miroku as well as Anti-Kaede and Anti-Shippou. Sit back, relax, and revel in the evisceration I have in store for these pathetic excuses of companions for Inuyasha and my alternatives in the form of eleven Red Power Rangers who would ensure healing, genuine trust, authentic friendship, and true brotherhood far more than what the douchebag known as Miroku can offer. If you thought one pathetic dickhead was not enough for Inuyasha to suffer with, try two more dickheads who are just as pathetic as each other. I have made my sentiments clear about Miroku being an absolute hypocrite, liar, deceiver, and moocher really clear which are all attributes transferred into him being a terrible friend to Inuyasha. Not helping him are Kaede the insolent old hag who constantly favourites Kagome and is always living under Kikyou’s shadow and Shippou the vindictive little ingrate who always runs his mouth when the situation is least appropriate. The main problem I have with Kaede, Shippou, and especially Miroku is how they treat Inuyasha like a second to third-class citizen because of his huge chip on his shoulder regarding his painful past while constantly putting Kagome on a pedestal just because she can sense the Shikon Jewel shards. Even when Inuyasha is injured, Miroku has the gall to further hurt him by hitting him on the head with his staff or physically batter him all while telling him to calm down or show more “respect” to Kagome when Inuyasha himself has been dealing with guilt from losing Kikyou as well as trying to save his, Kaede’s, and Shippou’s ineptly futile behinds, and Miroku himself is no saint either, given his track record of womanising to the extreme and not being a strong fighter by any stretch of the imagination. Therefore, these miserable excuses of companions and magnificent losers are neither worthy of Inuyasha’s time let alone his undying trust, respect, allegiance, and loyalty. Rather than having Kaede’s incompetent and wrinkled bum playing favourites with Kagome, Miroku’s physically bullying of Inuyasha’s, and Shippou’s vindictive mouthiness being akin to a cancer, it would be great for Inuyasha to get rid of these three lousy excuses of companions and bring in some genuinely real friends, caring brothers from other mothers, and loyal companions to soothe him, comfort him, give him the reassurance he needs, and be the greatest people that he has and will always have in his life. Step forward Jason Lee Scott the Red Tyrannosaurus Mighty Morphin Power Ranger, Aurico the Red Alien Ranger from Aquitar, Tommy Oliver the Red Zeo Power Ranger as well as the first Red Lightning Turbo Power Ranger, Theodore Jay “TJ” Jarvis Johnson the second Red Lightning Turbo Power Ranger, Andros the Red Space Ranger, Leo Corbett the Red Galaxy Power Ranger, Carter Grayson the Red Lightspeed Rescue Power Ranger, Alex Drake the first Red Time Force Power Ranger, Wes Collins the second Red Time Force Power Ranger, Eric Myers the Quantum Power Ranger, and Cole Evans the Red Wild Force Power Ranger coming to Inuyasha’s aid as the true companions and brothers from other mothers he desperately needs. As for Kaede, Miroku, and Shippou, they might as well depart from Inuyasha’s life and never ever come back because they have done more damage to him than good. With the eleven Red Power Rangers by Inuyasha’s side to be the best brothers they can be, they would do wonders to give him the solidarity, warmth, strength, compassion, trust, honesty, and joy he needs so much in his life. This is especially true when it comes to tending Inuyasha’s wounds the best way they can with tender loving care and giving him their undivided attention to the nines. All of these Red Power Rangers would prove themselves to be far more knowledgeable about medicine, healing, tending wounds, and dressing even the direst of injuries both in a physical sense and in a psychological sense. Therefore, each of them would specialise in what they would do best to ensure that Inuyasha regains his strength at an astounding level instead of having Shippou being the smug dickhole he is when he was pranking Inuyasha by disguising himself as Kagome, Kaede being a totally joyless hag at Inuyasha’s expense, and most of all Miroku making Inuyasha’s injuries far worse than they are by physically hurting him more. No doubt will all eleven Red Power Rangers tell the three arseholes to vamoose and head for the hills before they exterminate them. Once gone, all eleven Red Power Rangers would unleash Inuyasha from the Beads of Subjugation, and he would end up gaining their trust as well as having them trust him back. Aurico would use his healing powers as a Aquitian to close whatever open wounds Inuyasha has thanks to the special water he has from Aquitar that would do miracles for huge gashes and small scratches combined. Tommy and Jason would provide Inuyasha with the emotional support he needs by attending to him when he needs company as well as allow him to hash out whatever grievances, hopes, joys, and pains he has without either of them judging him, thus having both of them comfort him with a reassuring embrace and words of healing, compassion, understanding, and trust. TJ would prepare Inuyasha’s meals that go beyond the usual ramen noodles, for he would feed him well with steak and eggs, seasonal vegetables, grilled fish, seasonal fruits, and game meat such as deer and boar. Andros would have meditation sessions with Inuyasha to ease his fraught mind and soul as well as make him more focused. Leo would massage Inuyasha to ensure that every painful cramp is disintegrated. Carter would shield Inuyasha from invaders as well as protect the house they are in. Given Eric’s, Alex’s, and Wes’s military training, they would help Inuyasha fend himself off against invading demons with every artillery they have. Cole would use healing herbs and bandages to dress Inuyasha’s wounds…

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