December 2015

Audio Abominations #17 – Worst Songs of 2015

Disclaimer: I hate having post my content this way, as I really wanted to show you guys my opinion of why I hated these songs. But since YouTube and Dailymotion rejected my content, my files were too big for Vimeo, and I already deleted my videos from my computer to save disc space, the least I can do I post the script I used for the original review here. Just pretend my voice is reading it and go with the flow. I apologize for this and thank you for your time and patience. Folks I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. Not because of the overall state of pop music. In fact, I’d argue that 2015 is actually one of the best years in pop music we’ve had recently. I think the main reason I don’t want to make a worst list is because much of the truly bad stuff really wasn’t that bad. Eh, regardless we’re counting down. The Top 15 Worst Hit Songs of 2015. Number 15 Looking back at some of the returning entries from 2014’s chart, many of the songs I hated last year I found are actually starting to grow on me. There is… however, one song from last year’s chart that I actually still don’t like. That song is Animals. It’s actually become laughable at how Adam Levine is trying to present himself as creepy when the lyrics he’s singing are hard to take seriously. But… it can’t get worse than this, right? Right? #15. Sugar by Maroon 5 I know a lot of my colleagues actually like this song, but I don’t. I never did. I hated it upon first listen and I still hate it to this very day. By this point it’s become much harder to become disappointed in Maroon 5’s music anymore as their only purpose in life is to get worse and worse with each passing year, and this song annoyed me right from the start. The main factor that annoys me the most about this song is Adam Levine’s singing voice. During the chorus, he attempts this falsetto and it’s really annoying to the ears. My personal recommendation is boot Adam Levine out, make P.J. Morton the new lead singer and turn Maroon 5 into an awesome funk band. And the lyrics during the verse are pretty pathetic. This song expects me to believe Adam Levine would be the victim of a broken heart when in reality, he looks like the type of person to do the heartbreaking. What next? Is there going to be a song where a former Disney teen heartthrob mentions he’s justified to be jealous when he sees his girl looking at other guys? #14. Jealous by Nick Jonas You’ve got to be kidding me! Really America? You let this happen? The problem with this song would mainly come from the lyrics. For one, many of them are poorly written. No joke. At one point in the song Nick rhymes “hellish” with jealous. The second problem with the song’s lyrics is that they portray an extremely ugly sentiment. This ugly sentiment makes it okay for Nick to be a complete douchebag because he doesn’t want his girl looking at other guys. Now, Nick’s music would eventually get better as the year went on, but Jealous was a pretty bad first impression of Nick’s solo career as well as a new low from someone who used to be part of a Disney rock-group. Yeah, I bet you do, asshole. Number 13 All right. Let’s play a game I call how long before these morons contradict themselves. #13. No Type by Rae Sremmurd Two lines ladies and gentlemen. Two lines into this song regarding how they don’t have a preference of woman they actually like and the next line that literally comes out of Swae Lee’s mouth is a contradiction to that first sentence. In a world where hip hop is not only evolving, but improving to the point where even some of the worst artists in the genre are making miracles happen, Rae Sremmurd ranks up there as some of the worst new talents in modern rap only slightly above Young Thug. Not to mention that these two morons have the attention span of gold fish on crack. They mention that they don’t have a type of woman they like, contradict themsevles, and when the verses come, they completely forget about the topic of the chorus. It’s almost as if that chorus was thrown in at the last minute to get people to buy the song as otherwise no one would buy brag rap song about subject you’ve heard before number over 9000 produced by a someone who’s production is less inspired day after day. Producer Mike WiLL Made-It’s career is basically on life support by this point, and when the day Rae Sremmurd fade into irrelevance finally comes, I hope they take him with them. Number 12. #12. Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne I’ll make this quick as I have nothing really to interesting to say about this song. Everything about this song sounds amateurish. Amateurish rapping, amateurish lyrics, and amateurish production that T-Wayne stole. A five-year-old who knows nothing about rap music could make a better rap song than this. Number 11. If I already know what it is, why are you telling me? #11. Watch Me by Silentó The only reason why this song barely missed the top 10 worst is because I have so little to say about it. Honestly, there’s nothing more I can say about this song that hasn’t been said by the rest of the internet. Silentó’s vocals are weak and childish, the beat is loud and obnoxious, and the lyrics are just Silentó stealing dance moves from other artists and telling people to do it. Though I still don’t get the names of the dances though. Whip? Nae Nae? Whip? Nae Nae? What? Are you beating a horse or something? I mean I know now that…

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Your Character Sucks #23 – Matt Parkman (Heroes Reborn)

  Disclaimer: I don’t hate Molly Walker, but if she died, it could be a motivating force for Matt turn evil. I sincerely hope this character gets back to the way he was before Claire revealed EVOs to everyone. Also, this is what happens when the writers tell us why a character turns evil, the motivation being a quick buck, rather than showing us something interesting. To put things plainly, Matt Parkman sold out.

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