The Fairly OddGamer – GoldenEye 007

Goldeneye 007 is considered as one of the best (if not THE best) video game tie-in of all time. Not only is this game celebrating 25 years, but a re-release of the game was recently announced for Nintendo Switch as well as Xbox Game Pass. However for a game like this, I had to get help from none other than 007 himself, James Bond. But does this game still hold up after 25 years? We’re about to find out right now. Special thanks to warzonethecreator (https://instagram.com/warzonethecreator?igshid=NmNmNjAwNzg=) for designing the title card, LandyRS (https://www.youtube.com/user/Maruigi44) for providing the voice of Sonic for this video’s Patreon shout-outs, and a very special thanks to Brian Ganzevoort for portraying James Bond for the review.

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Failed Friendship for Life

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Miroku. Sit back, relax, and open your minds to understand where I am coming from with my claim of Miroku being a terrible male companion to Inuyasha and the alternatives I have in store instead of this pathetic excuse of a monk. From the first time I watched Inuyasha as an 11-year-old boy to watching it in earnest during my middle school years as a 13 to 14-year-old boy to my high school years ranging from 15 to 18 years old, I tried everything I could to find something salvageable about Miroku let alone his “brotherhood/friendship” with Inuyasha. However, every time I tried over and over again, I kept failing to find something redeemable about this pathetic excuse of a brotherhood between Inuyasha the totally awesome super strong dog Hanyo warrior king, dog Yokai king in my AU headcanon, who I will always adore and Miroku the absolute lame-o hypocrite who gets on my nerves with his lies and deceitful ways towards women. Watching Inuyasha in his perspective, I can totally understand why he is so irritated with Miroku. The way Miroku treats Inuyasha like a second to third-class citizen because of how much stronger he is compared to him, despite the many occasions Inuyasha had to save Miroku’s loser behind, his tendency to have a go at attacking Inuyasha when Miroku himself is not really that strong, his flippant favouritism of Kagome, thus making him, Sango, and Shippou her humanoid androids without a brain, and all of the lies, manipulation, deceit, and disingenuousness this horrible excuse of a Buddhist monk have are all attributes of why I believe Miroku was completely atrocious for Inuyasha as a friend let alone as a surrogate brother. It was clear from the beginning that Miroku never cared when Inuyasha was hurt by Kagome’s sit commands and believed that he deserved it for being rambunctious and rowdy. This hypocrite is no saint either with his womanising ways, tremendous tendency to be no-good cheat, and being full of fibs and lies that I am surprised that they did not manifest themselves into a more frightening monster. Even when that little lie grows into something bigger and stronger than Miroku is, it is not likely that his Wind Tunnel will solve the problem for him. In fact, it will make his problems even bigger. This is especially true with how he treated Inuyasha. After all the times Inuyasha has saved Miroku’s sorry ass from peril, after risking his life to save his male companion, and after everything he put himself through to ensure his safety, Miroku still treated him in an inferior and condescending manner. There was zero brotherly love, and there was only cold-blooded manipulation on Miroku’s part just because he as well as his fellow skanks Sango, Kagome, and Shippou could wheedle him and take full of advantage of Inuyasha’s undying loyalty to suit their selfish needs. He even says he cares for Inuyasha’s safety, but he injures him far more whether it is stomping on him or hitting him on the head with objects or his staff, thus making him even more of a bully than Kagome is. However, Kagome is still the worst bully ever. Miroku is just one of her pathetic little minions doing her dirty work. With Miroku’s lies, deceit, manipulation, and scumbag nature coming to light, who would be better male companions to Inuyasha? Sesshoumaru would be more reflective of his actions and words, thus making him reconnect with Inuyasha as his brother, and would cast away his haughtiness like the true noble he ought to be in order to build bridges with Inuyasha. Shuran would be the big, lovable, gentle giant who would have both a loving brotherhood towards him as well as a competitive one, thus seeing each other grow stronger both mentally and physically. Hakkaku and Ginta have always seen Inuyasha as a truly strong warrior and one who has always been a lot stronger than Kouga ever was, thus making them ditch Kouga and swear brotherhood and allegiance to Inuyasha. There is no doubt that Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and most especially Sesshoumaru would be the better and bigger men to provide Inuyasha the genuine brotherhood he needs, but there are eleven red-clad warriors, soldiers, combatants, and martial artists who would indubitably stand by Inuyasha’s side and would never be a bunch of phony manipulators. Once you hear the roll calls it’s morphin’ time, shift into turbo, let’s rocket, go galactic, Lightspeed Rescue, time for Time Force, Quantum Power, and wild access, viewers and readers know fully well of Power Rangers Wild Force’s glorious tenth anniversary episode “Forever Red”. Jason Lee Scott from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Aurico from Mighty Morphin Alien Rangers, Tommy Oliver from Power Rangers Zeo, Theodore Jay “TJ” Jarvis Johnson from Power Rangers Turbo, Andros from Power Rangers in Space, Leo Corbett from Power Rangers Lost Galaxy, Carter Grayson from Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, Wes Collins from Power Rangers Time Force, Eric Myers also from Power Rangers Time Force, Cole Evans from Power Rangers Wild Force, and even Alex Drake the original Time Force Red Power Ranger would come to Inuyasha’s aid and protection to be the staunch, unconditionally loving, genuine, and nurturing brothers they are. Jason, Aurico, Tommy, TJ, Andros, Leo, Carter, Wes, Alex, Eric, and Cole would even confront Miroku and address how much his lies, manipulation, cowardice, and hypocrisy sicken them to no end. Aurico would address that Miroku has done more harm than good to Inuyasha. TJ would call out Miroku on not being an honourable warrior let alone a genuine friend to Inuyasha. Andros and Leo would call Miroku a pathetic opportunist who gets away with his lies. Carter would give Miroku a firm dressing down on the many occasions he has hurt Inuyasha both physically and mentally and would rather see him in chains and in a jail cell for all his crimes. Wes and Cole…

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Miroku the Shyster Hellion

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Miroku. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my evisceration of Miroku the poor excuse of a Buddhist monk I have ended up despising with all of my heart, mind, body, and soul. Miroku is back on my chopping board, and he deserves to be so. Why is that you ask? He is nothing more than a hypocritical liar and a perverted Frankendouchebag who thinks he is being charming by groping various women wanting to bear his children should his existence be gone due to his accursed yet cool Wind Tunnel or Kazaana nearly devouring him. In terms of combat, he might have had some skills with his staff and sutras, but he is otherwise ineffective when it comes to more threatening monsters. As Inuyasha’s “male friend/surrogate brother”, he is truly the worst because of how often he sides with Kagome regarding Inuyasha’s torrid past with Kikyou while not also understanding his painful past either. Miroku even has the gall to hit Inuyasha on the head for acting out of line when he himself is no saint by any stretch of the imagination, thus making him just as much of a sanctimonious narcissist as Kagome if not worse. In fact, he is just as much of a bully as Kagome is, but Kagome is a million times worse than Miroku will ever be. Therefore, he is just one of Kagome’s humanoids who crawls on his knees because she is some special snowflake from the future. For someone like Miroku who calls out Inuyasha on his whole “two-timing Kagome with Kikyou” debacle, his track record is extremely dirty beyond belief. Going around wanting to bang floozies for the sake of carrying his children does not mean he is going to get away with being called a two-timer himself because he is not going to get away with it that easily. So, let me get this straight. When Inuyasha goes off to see Kikyou, does that make him a two-timer? No, his gesture meant that he had unresolved guilt and trauma still festering at him after over fifty years which is still fresh in his mind. He needed to hash out whatever was lingering inside him so that Kikyou could be at peace again because she was resurrected out of her own will. How that loser Miroku interprets it is that Inuyasha is unfaithful to Kagome with Kikyou, which makes this pathetic loser monk a million times worse than he already is. Yet, Miroku is still allowed to womanise and get away with slaps thrown at him, while Inuyasha receives the “Sit, boy!” treatment by that fugly floozy Kagome? I would hope to the Shinto gods and Buddha that Miroku does get neutered and emasculated because he is also a sex offender. From his past with the innocent Koharu, he was even so brazen to ask her to bear his children when she was only 11 years old and kept his promise alive when she was 14. Even when he gallivants with other women, he is still just as much of a sex offender because he invades their privacy and has no ounce of respect for them. His overall brotherhood with Inuyasha is a joke. He is completely antagonistic towards Inuyasha, treats him with a complete lack of dignity, has no compassion towards his plight, and has zero consideration of his dog Yokai heritage in terms of treating him like a pet at best and his whipping boy at worst. Every time Inuyasha acts out of line, Miroku would never hesitate to strike him on the head with his staff, throw objects at him or batter him to the ground. All of these actions make Miroku more of a bully than a compassionate friend or brother from another mother. Despite the many occasions where they stuck together as well as Inuyasha risking his life for this hellion’s sake, Miroku still treated Inuyasha like a second to third-class citizen as well as his trump card just because of Inuyasha’s prodigious strength and the power he has with Tessaiga. I do not blame Inuyasha for harbouring negative sentiments towards Miroku because he does see him for the lying, thieving, faithless, deceitful scumbag that he is, and Sango is just too much of a sheep to accept that. At least Inuyasha bears the truth, and the truth hurts, but it is necessary to call out the bull crap that Miroku envelops people with. To make things worse, he never considers Inuyasha’s feelings and plays favourites with Kagome as one of her army of skanks. Talk about unfair and uncalled for from Inuyasha’s supposed surrogate brother who was never a brother to begin with. Miroku was nothing more than a pathetic scumbag taking advantage of Inuyasha’s strength, steadfastness, loyalty, and staunchness. As a fighter, Miroku may have had his moments, but he is ultimately useless without his Wind Tunnel or Kazaana. Just because he has some skill with a staff and sutras does not always make him the most effective fighter in the world. I am also still reeling with anger at Miroku for bonking Inuyasha on the head with his staff, despite him being critically injured, all because he needed to see Kikyou, thus affirming of how much of a bully Miroku really is. Yes, Miroku’s Wind Tunnel is cool for instant kills. However, without it, he is an ineffective fighter with a staff he uses on certain occasions as well as sutras that tend to mostly work on lesser demons. Therefore, he is not really the spiritual warrior that he is and is a plain joke as a fighter, as the only serious battles this cheating coward would rather fight in or on the bed with his breeding mare Sango. All of my gripes on Miroku boil down to him being a know-nothing know-it-all who treats women like objects and people like Inuyasha as nothing more than second to third-class citizens because Inuyasha has far more…

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Kagome the Mega Frankendouche

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly, utterly, indubitably, and absolutely Anti-Kagome. Sit back, relax, and soak in the ever-burning vitriol I have been possessing for this lousy, lying, low-down, four-flushing carcass of a fugly mega Frankendouche. Do you ever have that one character you want to eliminate so badly with every weapon or assassination move you have in your arsenal? Was it a character you attempted to find any salvageable traits, but, as you grew up and developed a more critical, you started to realise just how horrible this person was, despite all of your noblest efforts to like them? Would you have found elation when you see the character you hated being dragged so hard? Would you have wanted to maul the character you could not believe you liked but now realise just how atrocious they are? If you answered yes to all of my questions, these were the thoughts that came into my head about Kagome Higurashi from Inuyasha a character I tried way too hard to like when I was a teenager in the cusp of graduating middle school and entering high school, throughout my duration in high school as well as my actor’s training, and even when I was doing my GED in my mid-twenties. Even when I tried so hard to like Kagome, I absolutely despised Inuyasha x Kagome or InuKag with visceral poison and venomous acid dripping from my tongue because they could not cease their bickering and squabbling even when they were coming closer together. It also did not help matters that Inuyasha was constantly saving her sorry backside from being abducted, given the several occasions that Kagome was a dolt-in-distress. Hence, InuKag has always been my most hated pairing or NOTP ever since I was an 11-year-old fifth grader, and it is still my ultimate NOTP speaking to you as a 30-year-old doing my master’s degree in American Studies while trying to finish my bachelor’s thesis before Halloween. Now, that I have watched Inuyasha more critically and thoroughly read manifestos on what made Kagome horrible and why I used to feel indifferent to her let alone struggle to like her when I was younger, I can confidently attest that Kagome Higurashi is one of the most disgusting, juvenile, hateful, despicable, deceitful, manipulative, sanctimonious mega frankendouche floozy narcissist I have ever seen desecrate the airwaves and even manga pages. She even had the nerve to make me even more irritated at her during the epilogue to one of my most favourite Inuyasha movies of all time Inuyasha Movie 3: Swords of an Honourable Ruler when she repaired those accursed Beads of Subjugation to place them back on Inuyasha in the guise that she trusts him but does not want him to run off again. Again, people, can you say psychopathic, narcissistic sociopath bitch from Hell? Because that is how I best describe Kagome Higurashi. That moment is actually on par with the multiple sit commands from Episode 109 which is what I would consider her dethroning moment of suck to the point where it made me frustratedly furious as a 14-year-old in the eighth grade when I caught this moment of sadism after school. Either way, Inuyasha Movie 3’s epilogue and the multiple sit commands from Episode 109 were sufficient for me to not hero worship this abusive floozy from all seven circles of Hell. Yes, I know there are worse mega frankendouche floozies such as Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina and Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière from The Familiar of Zero because of just how abusive and cruel they are, but Kagome is one of those so-called heroines who takes it up a notch because of how domineering she is while expecting Inuyasha to be her pathetic lap dog. The number of times Inuyasha has saved her butt as well as her posse’s snivelling behinds must be astonishing because, although Kagome may have fired some lucky if not barely lucky shots, she constantly depends on him to save her when she could have had moments to prove herself worthy as a heroine let alone grow in formidability. But no. She just ended up as nothing more than a bullying doormat who could not fight to save her own pathetic life, worried more about her stupid tests rather than the fate of the damn world, a toxic abuser who brutalises Inuyasha with those accursed Beads of Subjugation, and a vile harridan of a Queen Bee Bitch who believes that the entire world revolves around her. If this bitch is not satisfied, she would either mope, go into her self-pitying mode, manipulate her army of skanks consisting of Miroku, Sango, and Shippou to support her futile cause or just take all of her frustration out on Inuyasha with her sit commands. It is no wonder why I despise Kagome Higurashi with the passion of a billion burning suns, and this sanctimonious narcissist and sadistic manipulator deserves a harsh punishment that will bring her death. Speaking of harsh punishments that will guarantee a quick and painful death to Kagome, I recommend the following ways to kill off this wicked tin-head. Dousing her with Judge Doom’s dip would burn her hair, skin, bones, and organs until she is no more. If you want more fuel to the fire, you can douse Kagome with a combination of kerosene and sulfuric acid, light a match, throw the burning match, and watch her burn to a crisp. For a bloody execution, just grab a hatchet, chop off Kagome’s head, torso, limbs, and organs, and put them on a meat grinder to make wonderful delicacies with this pathetic excuse of an abuser as the main ingredient. When it comes to iconic Power Rangers villains, who better to brutally destroy Kagome than the Psycho Rangers from Power Rangers in Space and Power Rangers Lost Galaxy who would gladly stab her to death, slice her guts open, gouge her eyes out, and cut her tongue out all while serving her…

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